What do you Believe?

My bestie since 1st grade sent me the book, believe,written and compiled by Dan Zadra & Kobi Yamada. This compilation of quotes reminds me of about one of our most powerful and precious powers: belief or faith. These powers are so precious because they come from someplace we cannot see. Some call this “trusting your gut” others may refer to it as “instinct” and I have heard others refer to this as “seeing with your third eye.”

What I have seen these last couple weeks has come during a few setbacks with my health. In my opinion, looking more healthy than I have in awhile to looking like a have twins about to pop out of my stomach. The medicine that I was on is no longer working and now my week consists of a swelling stomach, swelling legs and ankles, dehydration, pain in my liver, followed by getting the fluid drained out of my abdomen, sleeping off the anxiety and pain that accompanies to going back to the hospital to have fluids replaced into my bloodstream and have my tumor markers checked to see which test has the most accurate results, the CT scans or the blood tests. (My doctor goes by CT scans, which were not great this go around 🙁 . And then I get to repeat the sequence again the following week. I am only 5’4″ and weigh about 90 lbs. They have been draining 3 liters of fluid a week. This is a lot for me and my body. This draining knocks me on my ass.

The timing of this gift could not have come at a better time. The quotes in the book reminds me that in difficult times it is best to look with your heart, not your eyes. Hopefully I will see miracles that happen all around me. It is during the challenges that await me, my kids, husband, family, friends, etc.. to be reminded that there is still so much courage, inspiration, goodness and possibility. Everyday we give each other the gift of our human spirit. Everyday we remind each other to believe in themselves and each other. This happened to me a few weeks ago while on a soccer weekend with my son and his team. His team had a tournament in New Jersey and my husband had a golf fundraiser for very close friends in Ocean City. Time to divide and conquer plus there was no way I was not going to my son’s first away tournament! So to keep this story short here is the highlight: of all of the stores I happen to go into, I walk into a “Life is Good” boutique. I need to find some soft and comfy shirts and sweats to cover up this ever growing belly. I find a perfect light weight hoodie but the size was way to big and of course, the last one in the store. The manager and I were chatting about this and that as people came in and out but never revealing very much of ourselves. After purchasing a pair of sweats this person says that he may be able to order it for me but can’t check it out until tomorrow because the store was about to close. I leave him with my number and the explanation of why I am in and of NJ. True to his word, he calls, tells me he can get the hoodie and he will ship it to me. The bill will be in the box and on my word he will trust that I will reimburse him. And again, true to his word the hoodie arrives wrapped in adorable gift paper and inside the box is the hoodie and an envelope. Expecting to see a statement with the amount was not what was in the envelope. Instead was a card with a monkey on it and a letter telling me that he told has gone through some difficult times and that he told himself that if he won his battle that he would help others win theirs. “it is just what I do” he wrote. He shared with me that on his bucket list of things to do and see, #2 is to monthly do something nice for a complete stranger. I was his #2 for the month of October. There was no bill, no ask to donate to a charity, no reminders of when his birthday might be or a hint of what he wants as a holiday present. Just a card with a monkey on it, a short explanation of why he does this and that I was his #2 for the month of October 2014. I was floored. I was honored, I was in awe! I immediately called him and thanked him and asked if I could do anything for him. His response was “no, you are my #2. Enjoy.” Believe it or not, I was speechless for a moment. I didn’t tell him I had cancer. Just a lot of liquid in my belly from medicine. I took his letter and went to find my kids and their friends that were over and read them this letter. I explained to them what this kind person just did for a complete stranger and to know and believe that there are people like this in the world and we need to rejoice over them and be reminded in the good that is in people.

I leave you with these words from the book, believe: Believe you can make a difference.

“We won’t always know whose lives we touched and made better for our having cared, because actions can sometimes have unforeseen ramifications. What is important is that you do care and you do act.” From Charlotte Lunsford

So take what you wish to take from this blog. But I secretly home you find a #2 on your list that you may have chance ti pay it forward and lift ones spirit with a simple gesture of communication, respect, and sincerity. if we could all live this way life could really be so different. Maybe one day.

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